I Can’t Believe I’m Writing These Words

Posted By on Apr 25, 2013 | 38 comments


My daddy died today.

I can’t believe I’m writing these words.

I’ve been moaning and crying and begging God for one last opportunity to tell him I love him.

I just want him to know I’ll never forget his uplifting cards and time spent sitting, watching the kids paint or play or sing and the holiday flowers/chocolates/fruit baskets he often surprised us with—just because.

Dad was the best gift-giver and the first to call on my birthday and the one who offered the most words of encouragement—even when they didn’t feel deserved.

Today’s violent shake is a reminder that life passes before you know it.

Go kiss the kids one more time.

Hug on my hubby just a little longer.

Say “I love you,” even though you’ve said it umpteen times.

Just because.

I miss you daddy.

I’m so sorry I didn’t call you more often or write to you more or tell you every day how much your words lifted my spirit.

You fought diabetes and endured a kidney transplant and open-heart surgery and then the mouth cancer. But today, you’re walking streets paved with gold, in a new perfectly whole body, with no pain or limitations.

I’ll see you again one day.

I just wish I could have told you one last time “I love you with all my heart.”

Because I really do.

53815_10151142638740502_881485686_o (1)My sister, my daddy, and me.

38 Comments

  1. Oh, sweet Dabney. My heart just breaks for you and your family reading this. There are no words right now so I won’t even try except to say that I love you, am praying for you and am here for however you need me. May God’s peace overflow you and your family at this time. Hugs and prayers, Kimberly

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  2. We are praying for you. We love you. So so sorry Dabney. You are loved.

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  3. Oh, Dabney, I’m so sorry! I will pray for your as you heal. Thank you for being so transparent and willing to share your pain.

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  4. My heart is breaking for you sweetie! We all love you and your whole family is in my prayers! xoxo

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  5. I’m sorry for your loss and pain. Five weeks ago my brother, also a diabetic who had endured open heart surgery, passed away. It just feels like you’ve been run over by a train. May God’s presence wrap around you in these days when words fail.

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    • Yes, a train. I can’t stop weeping. No one can prepare you for a loved one lost. I keep thinking it’s not real. Death is a curse that will be broken one day.

      I’m sorry for you as well…

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  6. My heart aches for you. I am so, so sorry. Words are so inadequate at a time like this. I pray for your heart and for The Lord to cover you with a peace that passes all understanding.

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  7. Oh Dabney. Praying for you and your entire family. I am sorry.

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  8. He knows. Bless you, Dabney. Praying The Lord sends you loving arms & comfort in the days ahead.

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  9. Oh, Dabney, reading this through tears as my heart aches for you… I’ll be holding you in prayers today. There are no words… I am so very sorry. What an amazing man he sounds like.

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  10. There are no words that can take away that kind of hurt. I will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time. So sorry for your loss.

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  11. Praying for you. So very sorry. Such aches and pain undescribable, but your words bring such honor to your father. Love you sweet friend.

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  12. Dabney, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Father. It sounds like you were truly blessed with such a wonderful Dad and loved hearing of all that he was to you. He was also so very blessed having you and your wonderful family.
    God bless you and will be praying for you and your family during these very difficult days.

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    • So so sorry. Prayers and love headed your way. My heart truly goes out to you. No amount of preparation makes us ready for the loss of one so dearly loved. You are loved, sweet girl.

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  13. My heart is bleeding wide open for you and your family. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending you a hug to hold you tight and to give you the strength to get through this difficult time.
    Love you.
    cherish those memories remember our bodies are temporary and for now you have a memory to last you lifetime here on earth.
    Heaven gained an angel today and you gained another guardian angel to protect you

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  14. Oh, Dabney, I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family. May God comfort you as He collects your tears in a bottle. Love to you, my friend.

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss! Praying for you and your family!

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  16. You’ve touched so many lives Dabney that in times like this when your heart is broken and your loss is great we are here to lift you up, love, encourage, and pray for and with you during this very difficult time. Thank you for being such a blessing, example and dear friend to so many! XoXo

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  17. Dabney, I’m so sorry for your loss. We will be praying for you and your family. 2 Corinthians 5:8- to be away from the body is to be at home with The Lord.

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  18. Dabney, I weep with you. I am sorry for your loss. Grateful to know he is with the Lord, singing and dancing. I know our God will comfort you and your family in this time for He is Jehovah, our great provider. Love you.

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  19. While the joy of the reunion in Heaven will be ecstatic, I’m praying the Holy Spirit comforts you and your family while you’re here on Earth.

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  20. So sorry to hear about your loss. There are no words to take away the pain you feel, so please just know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Rejoice in the time you had together and may God embrace you in your time of need.

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  21. Dabney, I am so sorry for your loss, Im lifting you and your family in PRAYER. Such a comfort to know ‘We are confident, to be absent from the body is to be in the presence of the LORD’ 2 Cor5:8 .
    I have clung to this verse since the Doctors first diagnosed George with ALS. I pray comfort and peace for you knowing you will see your dad again…I Love you…♥♥♥

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  22. my heart hurts for you. I know what you are going through. May the good Lord send you comfort. I don’t cry much anymore, after trying to deal with the loss of my mom for a year, I finally broke down and had the doctor give me something so I don’t cry every time something reminds me of her but right now there is a tear rolling down my cheek for you.

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  23. I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, Dabney! When our loved ones die especially when they know Christ it is so bittersweet! Please know that I am praying for you and your family!

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  24. I am so sorry. Prayers for you and your family.

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  25. Oh Sweet Friend, I am so very sorry. You were a wonderful daughter and your dad watched you grow into an amazing wife and mother. I love you dearly and will be praying for you daily as you walk this journey. Xoxoxo!

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  26. Sweet friend- just been praying for you all day. And just as you know your children’s love for you, your dad absolutely knew your love for him. Love you.

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  27. Ohhhh I’m so sorry… Words never seem to express enough… Arms around you tenderly…

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  28. I’m so sorry for your pain and loss at this time but I know God will guide your every step as you stumble through this process. He’ll now live in your heart and you’ll still feel his presence surrounding you. God bless you and your family!

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  29. So sorry Dabney! We are praying for you and your family. For the Lord to comfort all of you through this. Your words were beautiful and I know your dad was proud to have you as a daughter.

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  30. My heart goes out to you and your family Dabney. Your father seemed like a godsend to you, providing you strength and love. I shared your blog site today because I felt inspired by your writings and wanted a dear friend, that could use the inspiration, to feel the same. Although distance and time have taken us into different paths in this world, you have always been that silly, smiling, sweet, beautiful friend. With days like today, you will draw strength in those that you inspire from this work. Your Daddy may be gone from this earth, but he will still be smiling and touched with what you do here. Bless you and your loved ones!

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  31. Dabney, Losing a loving, Godly, thoughtful father is one that has left a piece of me empty. I know that you feel the same about your dad. You will find peace through the tears, happiness in the memories, and comfort knowing your Dad is in a better place. I am thinking and praying for you to get through the tough days ahead. It will get easier. I promise. You will always miss him and love him. There will be days that will be easier than others. Love ya, Dab!

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  32. I am so sorry Dabney. My Mom died unexpectedly a year ago this weekend. Then 8 weeks later my brother died unexpectedly of a heart attack !! Life is hard. But we will be in heaven one day too and it will be amazing. I am happy my Mom has a new body and is pain free. I will always miss her and love her. I am praying for you. Xo Barbara

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  33. Oh, Dabney, I am so very sorry. Just reading that took me back to 3 1/2 years ago when my Daddy passed away after an extended illness. We knew it was imminent, but it was still so very hard! I know he must have been so very proud of the woman you are!! How wonderful you have not LOST him–You KNOW exactly where he is! How wonderful that he is still with you in dozens of ways…you will hear a joke and then in your ears, his laughter–or maybe him telling the joke! You will have a problem and hear his wise advice in your head and heart…. He spent your lifetime pouring into you and your family—that is the part that stays on when he gets a new address. You are never without him–he’s only upstairs and that door is locked for now, but it will not always be so. One day, you will walk up those golden stairs surrounded with angel wings and your Daddy will be there to welcome you and walk you right over to Jesus’ Forever Embrace!
    I love you…here for you if you want or need me –please. Hugs available 24/7.
    In Abba’s Embrace togther, Paula

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  34. Praying for you, Dabney. Your father sounds like a man who overflowed with love.

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  35. Words cannot express the depths of your grief or how sorry we all are for your huge loss. May you be comforted as you have comforted others. Thank you for sharing about your father…. blessing us all with a glimpse into the man he was in your life. You have honored him greatly and I’m sure you were among his greatest treasures here on earth. Hugs, dear friend. You are loved.

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